One last post.

I need to create a new blog, now that the wishing, hoping and dreaming has been fulfilled!
But I can't leave this one without a conclusion!

We tempted fate on my due date by going shopping in our home city, which is an hour away form where we live now, and an hour and a half from the hospital I was booked in to! But it didn't work!

My MW attempted a membrane sweep at 40+7 (20th Feb), but couldn't do it. It hurt sooo much! So I was booked in for an induction at 40+14 (27th February).

I was so nervous on the way to hospital, but soo excited! I would be leaving there as a Mummy!
By 10am, I was on the hospital bed being checked. And was given the gel pessary thingy by 10:30am. Lots opf monitoring, lots of walking, much boredom! By 4pm I was having period type aches that got steadily worse, but by 8pm, I was still only 2-3cm. Not enough to be moved to a delivery suite, and as it was the end of visiting hours, Husband had to go home. Cue many tears from me and I was tired, in pain, and a bit scared.
I didn't get any sleep, and by 2am I couldn't cope and called a MW to discuss pain relief. She examined me, 4-5cm, so I could go to delivery and they would call Husband in!
I had blood taken. Tried the TENS machine (hated it), and got on the Gas-and-Air (Entonox). It wasn't great ,but it did give me something else to think about.
I was struggling at 4am, so gave in and asked for Pethidine. This at least allowed me to doze between contractions, and Husband managed to get some sleep.
It wore off around 7:30pm, and soon after things got going and I eventually could start pushing! My baby girl was born at 9:43am with no other assistance (and only left me with grazes, thank goodness!). And then I delivered the placenta naturally at 10:10am.

When she was put in my arms, the tiredness disappeared. I was physically exhausted, but elated. After a bit I went for a shower. This was an awful experience as I was bleeding so much and thought I was going to pass out at one point, but it was also lovely to get clean! I was brought some tea and toast, and then wheeled back onto the ward.

I didn't get much sleep, but spent a lot of time holding my baby and just adoring her! We wnet home the Monday afternoon, and my Mum and MIL came over to meet their new grand-daughter. Chinese take-out for dinner while holding my girl, and another night of little sleep!

Now she's 8 months old, crawling, cruising, chattering in her own little baby language, and generally trying my patience! She's still breast-fed (VERY proud me!), and slowly taking to weaning! Husband is amazing, and a wonderful Father, and my absolute rock.

Things aren't always easy, especially when I am sleep deprived. But deep down I am extremely happy, and wouldn't be without my girl.

Love you Princess xxx

39+3

So close!!!

Am hoping things get moving soon, I am a little bored of being pregnant now. Eager to get on and be a Mamma to my little kicking wriggler!

I am getting in practise for broken nights, not intentionally I can assure you! So I now spend most of the morning in bed to try and catch up a little. If I didn't, and went into labour during the day, I'd never have the energy to get through it! but an hour or so nap in the mornign once Husband is at work, and I am generally ok until after dinner.

Baby is about 3/5 engaged, and my bump has dropped quite noticeably. Hoping this means things will get going soon, though I fear she will be late. We have every thing ready, but it's a little frustrating not being able to use anything! Plus FIL goes back to his job in Russia for seven weeks by the 24th of february, and I really want her to be here so he can meet her properly.

The SPD seems to have eased a lot. Whether this is due to her having dropped, or me resting more, I don't know, but I AM so grateful! I still ache a bit and make an effort to be careful. More than an hour on my feet can make things worse, but not like they were, and I am not in pain every evening.

Sometimes, I still can't believe we are actually at this point! Even when I am so tired, grumpy and fed up, I am so excited and happy and grateful.

Hurry up Baby! Everyone has so many hugs and kisses waiting for you, but not as many as me and your Daddy can't wait to give you. We've waited so long for you, and we love you so much, so come out so we can meet you!!

I will miss my bump! Just a little loving post....

As much as it gets in the way sometimes, I really will miss it! I love my pregnant body! I love feeing Baby Girl kick, and watching my tummy move as she does! Spent a long time laying back in the bath yesterday morning, just watching my bump. And when she started punching in the lower half where I couldn't see, I watched the ripples she was creating in the water! So much love already. I didn't realise just how much of my attention and thoughts would be already focused on this tiny being, before she's even drawn her first breath. I already know I would give my life for this child. And it is completely true, the love for your child does not detract from your love for your partner, I just have more love to give. I actually love my husband more than ever, for how he loves me and looks after me, and especially the way he talks to my bump. Just love love love!

It all makes up for the SPD (which is worse after skidding on the ice two days ago), the heartburn (which can be triggered by NOTHING!), the hideous hormones (not going into them as this is a happy blog post), and the tiredness and general discomfort.

I still have moments where I can't believe I am actually pregnant. We are actually going to have a baby, and I will actually be a Mamma. :) I will be 36 weeks in two days. Four weeks until her EDD. Slightly scary, more exciting, and inspiring a huge sense of gratitude. For being pregnant and for having such an easy time of it so far. It's not always been 'easy', but in comparison to some, it's certainly been a smooth journey! All the hard bits have been with me, at no point have we had any concern for Baby Girl. Truly feel blessed.

I wish everyone who wants this and has been waiting will have their dreams come true very soon.

Preparation, hormones, a catch up and an apology!

Firstly, the apology. Today is 5th January 2010. 3 months since my last post! I am a bad girl, but I will blame hormones and trying to sort baby things!

We now have (I think) everything we need for her. Things for me for hospital and breastfeeding are a different matter! The buggy, carrycot and carseat are by the kitchen door, her clothes and bits are in my wardrobe with a changing mat, a baby bath is leaning against my dressing table, nappies and wipes are on the stairs, the cot is still in it's box in the lounge along with the bedding, and the mattress is leaning against a wall in the kitchen! So we have lots, but we are still so un-organised! Not helped by the fact our house is just too small for all our stuff.
We need to get rid of the dressing table in our bedroom so we can get the cot up. We also have to rearrange books and a TV to get my bedside table back in it's proper spot. The spare room needs to be cleared so we can get a chest of drawers in there so that we have somewhere to actually store her clothes and bits. And although there is 5.5 weeks to go which should be plenty of time, most of what now needs moving is Husband's, and I am rather tired and in pain from my SPD so can't do as much as I want. :(
So, physically, we are half prepared, we just need to get everything in place! Emotionally, I think I am prepared. I am not fazed by the thought of giving birth. One way or another she has to get out! I can't wait to meet her, and I am not scared of the thought of having a tiny person to look after. I think Husband is worried (not the exact words he used!). But I am sure he will quickly fall into his new role once she is here. I don't expect him to be a natural father straight away, but I know he will be able to do it.

SPD is awful. I got diagnosed around the end of November and ended up being off work for a week, 3 weeks before I was due to start maternity leave. It hasn't eased since I've been off, so I'm hoping it will just go when she arrives, as can happen. Some days it's manageable, others it can leave me near tears. I am seeing the physiotherapist at the hospital on the 19th. I hope she can help!

Um, what else???
Oh yeah, I missed my last day of work because of snow! I spent nearly 2 hours trying to get in, but the buses just weren't running properly. We had LOTS of snow that last weekend before Christmas. And we have lots again now! It's pretty, but a pain. Still, hopefully this means it will have snowed itself out by February!
I have another scan on the 22nd December due to my BP. All was fine. But they want me to have another on the 19th as high BP can interfere with the placenta. Please still be ok! I don't want an early delivery!! Hopefully they'll be able to give us an estimate of birth weight and length!

The hormones are driving me mad. The other night I ended up in tears after ruining 2 omelettes. Today I was almost sobbing because of the state of the house... My moods are very unpredictable again! I really don't like feeling this out of control. I'll probably end up snapping someone's head off soon. But, it will be all worth it.

I'll try and stay on top of this now, promise! xx

Scan photo from 25th september. *Love*

Sugar and spice and all things nice...

that's what little girls are made of!

Yup, my scan showed that we are having a little girl!

Well, as sure as the scans can be! Not going mad on buying lots of girl stuff just yet though, will wait until after the 4D scan on 15th november. Soo excited. We weren't really bothered either way, though I know Husband would have loved a little boy to share all his toys and things with! lol. But now I am really looking forward to doing all the girly things :) I did offer to buy Husband a big baseball bat for her 14th birthday (as I know he will definitely be the over-protective daddy!), but he said he already had plans!! Scary thought!

I am doing really well though, just need a decent night's sleep, but I doubt that will happen any time soon!

The bad thing at the moment is that we had my beloved Cloud put to sleep last tuesday (the 22nd). We saw the vet on saturday as I said, and he had an anti-biotic injection and we brought medicine home for him, but although he perked up a tiny bit that evening, he wouldn't eat or drink properly and so we couldn't get his medicine into him. By Sunday evening he had pretty much stopped drinking and all he wanted was to be cuddled by us :( I ended up in such a state Monday morning that Husband refused to let me go to work, so I stayed home, cuddling my fur-baby, and made another appointment fo the Tuesday evening. It was easier than with Geoff and Alfie, as at least I wasn't on my own, but it was so much worse too. Cloud was the last of my 3 fur-babies, who'd been my daily companions while Husband was in Afghanistan. And because he was on his own for so long, he had so much of our attention, it's really left a hole.
I nearly begged Husband to take me to get some more rats when I got so upset while empting the cage this week (we'd moved it into the shed after burying Cloud, but it took me a while to be able to sort it out), but I think it was just as I was so upset and missed him so much. No more pets for a little while, even though the house feels horribly empty when I am home alone. :(

RIP Cloud-baby. Miss you. xx

Triple Test results and a poorly rat

The letter came through yesterday.

"We are pleased to inform you that your recent serum screening blood test has shown your baby is not in the 'increased risk' group for an open neural tube defect (spina bifida) and our estimate of your individual Down's risk for this pregnancy is a low risk of 1 in 100000 (no further tests recommended)."

Fabulous news. :)

But my little Cloud-rat is not well. He'd gotten a little fat, so we cut down on his treats, but over the past week, we've noticed he has lost too much weight and is not eating enough. He feels so skinny- can feel all his bones :( Been feeding him a little chocolate baby food in the evenings, and tiny bits of bread and banana as he won't touch his food. I don't think he is drinking much either. Plus he is making odd noises when he breathes and seems to be panting, Poor baby. I guess it is old age catching up on him. He's seeing the vet on saturday morning. I'm hoping they can help, but I have a horrible feeling that he just doesn't have long left.