blood results

(copied and pasted from a forum I 'live' in)

Having finally got my blood test results today-it was a hormone check-

Testosterone and Prolactin were fine; LH and FSH didn't really matter since my menstrual cycle is so screwed up; but Oestrogen is low.
I am being referred to the Gynaecologist.
It could take 3-4 weeks.
If I had had my results in teh week after the test I could be half fucking way though those 3/4 weeks now!!!

Googling low oestrogen levels is no good cos it brings up a load of stuff about menopause and early-menopause and I am not going down that route now. I can't think about the possible implications of that. And osteoporosis which my Nan suffers from. Something else to not think about.

I don't know what it means, apart from the whole not ovulating thing, so I don't know what to think. And I really want a hug but my husband's not home until wednesday and I feel like shit cos of this cold. I have never felt so exhausted from just a cold.

So more wait and see. The only upside is the Gynae. referral. Another round of doctors and hospital and tests. Fan-bloody-tastic.

I thought discovering my Hypertension and the referral to Addenbrookes and the trips and tests for that was bad. This has the potential to be infinitely worse. I feel defective. A woman who can't do the thing women are supposed to do. Granted this may be way too early to be thinking like that, and they may be able to fix it with some simple, quick way. But what if they can't? How would I face up to the knowledge that I can't do the one thing I really want to do? How will my husband feel if his wife can't give him children? I wish, hope and dream that I am being melodramatic right now and that things will work out how I want them too.

Make a wish for me. XX

I miss my husband!!!

Purely self-indulgent today.

He's been away since Monday and is back Tuesday, but that is still far too long in my opinion! I don't think I really have the right emotional temperament for a military wife! I know we've been lucky so far that's never been away for more than 3 weeks, and never to anywhere dangerous, but that is my blog so I can be selfish. Right? He rang me yesterday just to hear my voice :-(

I've got a bad cold, I'm so tired and I can't concentrate properly. Feeling a bit crap about myself I suppose.

After 2 more phone calls about my blood results, I have an appointment tomorrow. Bloody ridiculous that I've had to wait so long. Not sure what to think today. Trying NOT to think too much about it. Ah well, what will be, will be.

I got back late from work yesterday and we had to go straight out grocery shopping so I forgot to ring. I really, really wish I had.


I had a letter this morning- brown envelope with Her Majesty's Service printed on it. Great I think, my blood results finally. well, it was from the Medical Centre, but it was an invitation to a Chronic Disease Clinic to discuss my high blood pressure and the treatment I am receiving.

"The aim of the clinic is to ensure that you are receiving the most up to date information on medication, lifestyle advice and chronic disease management."

Well thanks very much, but I am under the care of a specialist team, headed but the country's leading doctor on Hypertension in young people. What can a GP add to that?

I'll admit that I lost it slightly, threw the letter on the floor, screamed that I didn't care I wanted my results and stormed upstairs. And cried a bit. Wonder what excuse I'll be given on monday when I ring to see where my fucking letter is. How hard is to to send a letter??

And my darling husband is off to Oman on monday for 10 days. I hate being on my own for more than a couple of days, so I am one un-happy bunny.

Still waiting

Well I had bloods take on 31st Jan. And I am still waiting for the results. I gave it a week and rang up. The results were sitting in the Doctor's inbox and I had to wait for a letter to be sent. I haven't round again because I think I'll just be told they same, wait for a f*cking letter. I'm tired of waiting.

I need to post more on here, it's getting too invasive in my everyday life. I see new babies and pregnant women everywhere... I nearly cried at work last week. This can't take over everything, here has to be my outlet.

They sure don't teach you about this at school. They lead you to think even the sight of a naked penis will get you up-duffed. No-one tells you that you might find it hard, until you've already worked it out for yourself.

Why me? Why anyone? Is it punishment for taking the morning after pill when I was 17? Punishment for being on the pill since I was 18? I don't really believe so, but I can't help the 'what if?'s.

I'm soo happy for all my pregnant friends, and all the new mummies but I can't help being a little bit jealous? Does that make me a bad person? Or just human? Just human, I hope.

I think I'll ring the Medical Centre tomorrow anyway, I need to know what the bloods said. Do I wish for them to be totally clear? Or to show something isn't right so that doctor can deal with it and make me start ovulating again?