Still waiting

Well I had bloods take on 31st Jan. And I am still waiting for the results. I gave it a week and rang up. The results were sitting in the Doctor's inbox and I had to wait for a letter to be sent. I haven't round again because I think I'll just be told they same, wait for a f*cking letter. I'm tired of waiting.

I need to post more on here, it's getting too invasive in my everyday life. I see new babies and pregnant women everywhere... I nearly cried at work last week. This can't take over everything, here has to be my outlet.

They sure don't teach you about this at school. They lead you to think even the sight of a naked penis will get you up-duffed. No-one tells you that you might find it hard, until you've already worked it out for yourself.

Why me? Why anyone? Is it punishment for taking the morning after pill when I was 17? Punishment for being on the pill since I was 18? I don't really believe so, but I can't help the 'what if?'s.

I'm soo happy for all my pregnant friends, and all the new mummies but I can't help being a little bit jealous? Does that make me a bad person? Or just human? Just human, I hope.

I think I'll ring the Medical Centre tomorrow anyway, I need to know what the bloods said. Do I wish for them to be totally clear? Or to show something isn't right so that doctor can deal with it and make me start ovulating again?