Yesterday

in the coffee shop, at the table next to us, was a lady with a bump. 6 or 7 months gone I'd guess, and she was glowing. I'll assume the people she was with were her parents and grandmother. Baby was kicking I presumer, because her 'Dad' had his hand on the bump, and was laughing about the baby being a wriggler. I want that so much.

One of the women Husband works with is pregnant. I wonder what he was thinking when he told me? Strangely, being told a stranger is pregnant doesn't invoke the same feelings of jealousy as when I found out my sister-in-law, or even my work colleague, was expecting. The closer they are are, the harder it is because you see the bump grow, you share their excitement, then you get to cuddle their baby. sigh

I used to feel bad for feeling jealous, but not any more. It's too human, too natural, a reaction to when someone else has something you so badly desire. It's not a bad thing.

And then sometimes I wonder if we'll even be good parents? Are we still too young, too selfish to deserve to care for a little one who'll be totally dependant on us? These feelings are temporary though. I know Husband will make a good dad, and I believe I'll be a good mum. Even if we struggle at first and have the same fears, worries and mistakes as other new parents we'll be fine!