CD 70

Thought I'd done with the long cycles.
They didn't have my scan results yesterday, so I am waiting again. More waiting. Not very patiently, but it's all I can do.
I'm very emotional and tense at the moment, very unhappy. The littlest thing can irritate me, and my mood can change without warning. It's very draining. I need to snap out of this before it becomes destructive.

Time to go focus on the good things...

• My Husband. Love of my life and my entire world.
• I have some amazing, fantastically supportive friends.
  
• We have a home and food and warmth.
• The extended family, on the whole, isn't too bad!
• My 3 cute and funny ratties

I'm safe, and well-loves. Husband loves me, no matter what. We will get through this.

Today I was disheartened.

I am not sure why, but it felt like I was carrying around a huge load that was too much for me. There seemed to be a lot going on. There still is but this evening I am more peaceful and I can bear it better.
Tomorrow I have an appointment with the nurse who runs the Chronic Disease Clinic at the medical centre. Apparently I have to see her before I can get any more of my blood pressure medication. What she can say to my that the specialists at Addenbrookes haven't already said, I don't know. But ho hum, must keep the Senior Medical officer (he who ordained this appointment) happy I suppose.
And then on thursday I have a visit with a doctor to actually get some more blood pressure medication (seeing as Nurses can't actually issue prescipts.) and to discuss my scan results. I haven't heard anything yet, but I have the appointment now, and I what to know what's what. If it means starting Metformin to regulate my cycles and help me get pregnant, so be it.

Baby hunger. What a phrase. That level of broodiness that hurts.

The Clan

Thought it was time I introduced my little fur-babies.
Geoff, the alpha rat, is on the bottom. he didn't stay there long!! He's a bit moody.
Alfie, at the back, is the cuddliest, but still only tolerates them for a few minutes.
Cloud, in the middle, is the runt and the stupidest! He's very funny and lovable.

This was a few months ago, they are too big to fit in the corner like that now! I wish they were more like big squishy, cuddly rats. but I love them to bits anyway.

The sun is shining!

Well, I had the scan. They had to progress to an internal, but it wasn't as bad as I feared! They said they could see tiny cysts, but I won't know what that means until I see the doctor. So another week or so of waiting. Yawn.

It's all hot and sunny again. I kinda wish I was more of a sun-worshipper. Chilling out in the garden would be so relaxing right now. But I burn and not tan, get irritated by all the insects that appear and get a headache from too much sun. SO I'll have to hide inside with an ice-cream instead!

Negative this morning.

So, CD 53.
8 days of very light spotting and a negative test this morning. I had to check. Again, I expected it to be negative, but again, it hurt.
I don't think there's anything else I can do now, just wait and see what the scan shows up on Friday.

I'm really suffering with back ache too. I think i am going to have to find a Chiropractor, all that the tablets have done, is made me feel crap. I just want it to go away, it's not really stopping me doing anything, it's just annoying me!

The house is a mess, but I'm so ache-y after work, that I have no motivation to tidy up. :( Husband and I will have to tidy it at the weekend!