Where is the light at the end of the tunnel?

No. I should have expected it right? I have a huge headache. and a heart full of tears I just can't cry. I think maybe I'd feel better for a good sob, but I have to go to work today, I have no time to just sit down and cry.

I have less than 3 weeks until Husband goes. This morning has dragged up all my negative emotions, all the little worries and the big fears.

Today is Armistice Day. I will be observing 2 minutes silence at 11am. Why do men (because, lets be honest, most world leaders ARE men) fight wars? For honour? glory? pride? love of their country? freedom? Or for oil/resources and money? How much less grief would there be without war? I love the ideal of world peace, but I fear neither myself nor my children, or possibly my children's children, will know what that is. I recently read that 1968 is the only year since 1945 a British service person has not been killed on active duty. So many grieving families.

I have nothing else to write now.

CD47

I have no symptoms beyond the odd tummy ache, headaches, hunger and a nasty taste in my mouth that won't go away. I also have a superdrug test to use tomorrow. I need to book a flu jab, so i need to know.
I don't want to have to be pregnant whileHusband is away, but I do so desperately want to be pregnant. Ho hum.

CD 42

Stupid AF. Where is it?

I had one 'episode' (Is that the right word?) of spotting yesterday, which made me think she'd arrive this morning. Nada. But I am having a few stoach cramps and a bit of backache, so there is still a chance I suppose. But no real chance of the BFP before Husband goes away. Maybe it's a good thing, it'll be better if he's here for all scans and things.

Ah well, lets get him safely away and then back home first.