I know I've used some new abbreviations in the last post, so here's what I mean for those that don't know. Also some that may come up in the future.

MIL Mother-in-law

FIL Father in law

BIL Brother-in-law

SIL Sister-in-law

MW Midwife

8+2 8 weeks+2 days, how far along you are

EDD Estimated Date of Delivery

BP Blood Pressure

Telling Mums... and 1st MW appointment!

So, both our Mums were pleased!

Husband kept my little sister talking in the living room while I cornered my Mum in the kitchen and gave her the wrapped book. When she unwrapped the spine and saw the title, she asked If I was trying to drop a hint. I just grinned and nodded and got a huge hug! She was very shocked, but pleased, which was a relief for me. I wasn't so happy when she told me her sickness lasted all through with us, but I don't really mind!
I'm looking forward to telling my Dad on Saturday, and can't wait for the rest of the family to know. I'm sure my sisters will be pretty vocal about it!

With MIL, we were in her kitchen just about to go out, when Husband put his arm over her shoulders (I was leaning against a counter, looking at them from the side) and said "Before we do, Bear and I have some little news." MIL looked at me, I was just grinning, thinking she would guess, then Husband looked at me and said "Go on ", so I just came out with it- "I'm pregnant!"
MIL instantly moved away from Husband and gave me my second huge hug of the day! :) She is also very pleased and was going to tell FIL when she rang him the next morning.

I can NOT wait until we can make it public news!

We had our first appointment with the MW yesterday. I say 'we' as Husband is determined to accompany me to every one, as long as he's not out of the country! She was very nice, 1 of about 5 that I could see at the Med. centre, so I hope they are all as friendly! I've got lots of info to read through, which should keep me occupied for a while! She put me at 8+2, wich is a week ahead of what I guessed, but syhe did say that will porbably change at the scan. So now I am just waiting for the scan date. I am very excited about that. and hopefully it will help Husband to relax a little. I am also waiting for an appointment with a Consultant, due to my hypertension. It may mean I will need extra scans to check the growth of the baby.

All very exciting, and starting to feel more real!

Bigger boobs, feeling sick, not sleeping and already arguing about names??

I am still grinning like a cheshire cat! Though I have to keep looking at the pictures on my phone of the positive tests as I can't believe it is real!
My boobs are definitely a little bigger. They've stopped aching quite as much, though they are still tender. Husband weighed them in his hands last week and said they are definitely bigger and heavier than usual. I think he is quite liking that aspect! I can now notice that they are bigger, I think it may be time to be measured for a new bra this week. Seems ridiculously early to me, but I need something better than the bras I have now.
I am still also feeling sick a lot, but I am assured that that is a good sign :) I haven't actually puked, which is a blessing! Digestive biscuits, Snack-a-Jacks and travel sickness wristbands are my friends! Husband's strawberry milk makes me feel very ill, and I am now wondering if the glass of watered down orange juice I just drank is not going to stay down. I suddenly feel very, very sick :( Sit still, keep breathing, and see if it passes!
Something is making me wakeup early each morning, and usually I can't go back to sleep. No matter what time I go to bed, between 5 and 6am I wake up. I am so tired all the time at the moment. I can nap in the afternoon, wake up and 30 minutes later I want to go back to sleep. I hope this does pass soon because I am unable to get anything done! Also, me waking and getting up to go to the bathroom is disturbing Husband, and I was hoping I would disrupt his sleep quite this early!

Husband is already in over-protective mode. I am not allowed to wear high heels in case I trip (I am rather clumsy at times), not allowed to run up and down the stairs, have to be careful at work. Goodness knows what he will be like when I have an actual bump! I like it though, he's obviously taking it all seriously. We had our first proper discussion about names a few days ago. (all the ones beofre I was pregnant don't count!) We are pretty settled on a name for a boy, though I am not so keen on his second choice. But we are stuck for a girl! There is one we sort of agree on. But he dismissed the one that had been my favourite for years. I may try and work on him a bit more!

We didn't get home to tell out Mum's this weekend, but we are going next Saturday. As it will be, (fingers crossed all goes well) her first grandchild, I am getting a copy of 'The Good Granny Guide' for my Mum. :) I'm going to wrap it up as a belated Mothers' Day gift! Mother-in-law already has 6 grandchildren and I know she's a fabulous Gran, so it doesn't work so well for her! My Dad is home from his operation, tired and sore, but sounded ok when I spoke to him this morning. We will either pop in to see him, but that may mean letting my Grandparents in on the secret, or phoning him. Hopefully Husband will be able to phone his Dad from MIL's.

Happy Fathers' Day to my Daddy, and all Dads everywhere. Hopefully next year we will be celebrating Husband's first Fathers' Day!!

Spotting, Doctor and Work

Not a great start to the day as I had a little bit of spotting this morning. Only a tiny amount, no pain, and didn't continue, but the sight of blood was enough to freak me out. Even though I KNOW that it is quite common in early pregnancy! I'm ok now, but I don't think I will be as relaxed as I was until the 12 week scan now.

Doctor's appointment went ok. She guessed me to be around 5 weeks, felt my tummy, reassured me about the blood, and took details to pass on to the midwife, who I should hear from within 2 weeks. I think it will feel real then. I was a little shocked that she didn't want to confirm the pregnancy, but hey ho.

I told my boss today as I was feeling rough, she said she was pleased for us, and printed off a risk assessment sheet for me to read. I haven't felt so sick this afternoon, which has been nice. Wasn't great this morning. And the horrible headaches I've had since saturday haven't reappeared, thank god! I am very tired though, and my boobs are sore and a little bigger already! Even Husband agrees that they are bigger and heavier!

Hoping to go to out home city next weekend to tell our Mums, and my Dad. Husband's Dad went to Russia yesterday for 7 weeks for work. We didn't realise he was going, and it's a shame we won't see him (haven't been home in a few weeks). Husband did suggest I call them, but I want to do it in person if at all possible!And my Dad is having an operation on his kidneys tomorrow, so didn't want to give him any extra stress.

Pregnant!!!

I used a Clear Blue test Saturday morning, and immediately it came up, so clear! And then I used the second Boots one in the box I had, and got another immediate, positive on Sunday afternoon.

Judging by the start of my last period, I am 6 weeks, but after the negative test on the 5th, I don't think I can be that far along. But I am seeing the doctor Wednesday morning, and we'll go from there.

So unbelievably excited. And flapping a bit! As is Husband, but he is a born worrier!

Early days yet, but fingers crossed.

I will try and keep this more updated from now!

CD40

And no sign of AF. Even the cramping and backaches seem to have disappeared. Stomach still doesn't feel right, Husband gave me a hug, standing behind me the other day, and squeezed, and I had to push him away. Not painful, but definitely uncomfortable! I can't stand any pressure on that area at the minute, but of course, that could be PMT bloating :(

I'm still tired all the time, a bit light-headed sometimes, nausea, definte mood swings, everything that can be PMT, or a pregnancy symptom.

I really don't know. I'll test on saturday, but it's so hard waiting that long! Sometimes I'd like o think I 'feel' pregnant, but maybe that's a hope born of wishing so hard. Still wait and see-ing!

Negative

As above.
Not sure how many more of those I can stand. How many more times can I cry over a god-damn lack of a line?
So waiting for AF to shown. Again.
Added to that, my knee is more painful than usual this morning.
For fucks sake, when do we get a break?

CD35

Husband did come home on 1st April. I don't think I've ever been so pleased to see him! He had his month off work, and we've been spending lots of time together, adjusting to having him home.
I love him so much, and can not express just how happy I am to have him back safe.

1st April also turned out to be CD1. The timing! it really hurt when AF arrived on 2nd May. I'd had silly romantic dreams about us falling pregnant the first month he was home after his 4months away, but it wasn't to be. But the fact that it was a 31 day cycle was good. About the best it's been I think. But I decided to stay as relaxed as possible- he was only just home, and I'd only just got my cycles to a good length. I decided to give it until August before going back to the doctor and seeking further treatment.

So now I am at CD35. And as much as I am trying to stay reasonable, I am tentatively hopeful. I've had no signs of AF arriving, my boobs are only just now starting to feel tender and I don't feel quite 'right'. It's not something I can put my finger on exactly, but either I will have good news, or I'm setting myself up for more tears. But if I am not, I would like AF to arrive soon please!

Husband surprised me yesterday evening. We were watching TV, and an ad for the ClearBlue Fertility Monitor came on, and he asked if I wanted to try it. It's nice to be reminded that he does want this too. He's been so busy at work since he got back, and his back is really hurting him, so we haven't talked much about it lately. I told him I am on the 'wait' at the moment, but I will look at it. Now my cycles are getting to a good length, it might be useful! It's good to know he's as serious as me! And I have noticed the word 'baby' come out of his mouth a lot lately, just in little things, mostly silly things, but it's more than normal. :)

But truthfully, I hope I don't need to. I have a test waiting upstairs for tomorrow or Saturday, and I want it so badly. I can really imagine telling people this time, and things we'll have to buy and things to do. Every pregnant woman/new mum that I've seen today has made me think "Could that be me in 6 months/a year?" I'm even planning on how we'll build up a supply of nappies and wipes by getting a few each time we do the grocery shop after we reach the 12 week point. And buying the first little outfits, and, very important, the first teddy bear.

So much for staying calm and chilled about it. I just want it. But as well as being tentatively hopeful, I am bloody terrified that I am just going to be disappointed again.